Choice bro, I'm uff to New Zulund eh..

Discussion in 'General Discussion / News / Information' started by daewoo, Feb 15, 2008.

  1. daewoo

    daewoo Ol'Timer

    Off to Uklund un Tuesdee for a cupul uv deys nuxt week, eh.

    Going fur wuk, so I wun't huv much free time durung the dey for sutseeing eh.

    Unywhere un parucular thut I shud go to at night bro? Ut wud be good uf thur wus placus where thur are gurls outsud thut say I um hundsum, but I guss thur wun't be, eh...

    Staying right un the muddle of the cuty, always thirty, eh.

    Let me know, eh.

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  3. Kiwi Cruiser

    Kiwi Cruiser Ol'Timer

    Dear sir,

    Whilst not being an Aucklander, I do have an appreciation for the way things are done there. Under the circumstances, you'd save the city officials a lot of time and effort if you just requested a taxi driver to take you to the nearest Govt-sponsored accommodation facility... turn yourself in.. its the best way!

    Balanced against that, I've heard Oztr-aliens say that if you pat a Kiwi girl on the head, their pants fall off... Give that a shot... either way, you're likely to end up in the same accommodation! :)

    I'm actually arriving in NZ on Wednesday morning... fortunately I'm heading to the other island :) This is just my own opinion, and I'm sure its not shared by some readers - but Auckland sucks as a destination... Not a real mountain in sight, the water's all salty and horrible... the girls are (by LOS standards) plump and/or aggressive... AND they are running the country! Things went to hell in a handbasket in a hurry when the women took control.

    Frankly, I'm totally depressed at having to leave LOS for the brief period required to acquire another 1 yr visa! I'm miserable, distraught, inconsolable... and not long I'll be inebriated, and wake up tomorrow feeling far worse!

    I hope this was the answer you were looking for? :)


  4. daewoo

    daewoo Ol'Timer

    I wish we had the :ROFL: smiley... :lol: :lol: :lol:

    especially the bit about pating them on the head and their pants fall off... that is one character train they retain as them move to west Auckland (Bondi)... only most of the time that ends with :BARF: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  5. monsterman

    monsterman Ol'Timer

    No problem as there are plenty of willing sheep in NZ and they are better looking than the women.
  6. daewoo

    daewoo Ol'Timer

    A Kiwi bloke is having a massive argument with his wife, storms out of the room and comes back with a sheep under his arm...

    He says "this is the pig I've been screwing when you're not around"
    His wife laughs and says "That's a sheep you idiot"
    The bloke says "I wasn't talking to YOU"

  7. Kiwi Cruiser

    Kiwi Cruiser Ol'Timer

    I'm not sure that a mature (kiwi) gentleman such as myself should participate in an derogatory exchange of trans-Tasman witticisms with an Oztr-alien... :roll:

    But.. WTF - I have nothing better to do at the moment... and it may illustrate the deep cultural gulf of undersanding that exists between our two countries... :lol:

    Q.) What do you call an Oztr-alien with more than one girlfriend?
    a.) A shepherd...

    Q.) What do New Zealanders call sheep?
    a.) Aussie blondes...

    Q.) Why do Oztr-alien farmers wear those knee-length gumboots?
    a.) They are for tucking the sheeps hind legs into... stops them running!


    David, feel free to delete this disgraceful example of NZ/AU repartee - in its entirety - as the entire Topic has sweet FA to do with motorcycles :)

    And for the record, note that it was an Aussie who initiated the downward spiral... :)


  8. DavidFL

    DavidFL Administrator Staff Member

    Yeah you guys are cluttering the board up with crap.
    Let's stick to bikes & motorcycle touring please!!
  9. monsterman

    monsterman Ol'Timer

    Bush Pilot u are a saint ..... that was funny....thanks.
  10. Ok David not trying to full the posts up with a load of shit,,,
    but saw this joke.found it quite amusnsing
    a pom an ozzie and a kiwi are in are bar.
    the pom orders a drink....well he says when we do this in englang we get free chippys
    the ozzie says.. well if we order a drink in oz..we get free chipps and a free beer.
    the kiwi says ..well if i go into a bar..i get free beers all night.till iam legless, then go home and have sex for free all night..
    the pom turns round and says ..have you experiances this personally
    well not really says the kiwi..but my sister does it all the time
  11. daewoo

    daewoo Ol'Timer

    Hi guys,

    I am back in Auckland all week 07/07 till 11/07.

    Anyone want to catch up for a beer and teach me all about Kiwi culture???


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