Never in my life I felt more a Woman

Oct 17, 2006
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Never in my life I felt more a Woman
by Steffi

uncensored English adaptation (no parental guidance required ) by Pico

Screaming at the top of my voice I am banging the broad shoulders of that unknown guy. However, utterly unimpressed by such brutal action Jonadda John speeds up even more actually surpassing the equivalent of my pulse rate of 220. The mandatory helmet plus a blaring Ipod are protecting him against my unwanted screeches.

I am a pony rider, not a biker, this is my very first motorbike trip starting off on a Suzuki 1100 going 220 km/h plus. At long last, merciful gods and the need for petrol force Jonadda John to come to a stop.

We, a gang of 8, are on our way from Chiang Mai up to the furthermost North of Thailand along the Lao and Burma borders. Contrary to myself this trip is nothing special for the rest of the gang, all of who have a long-standing chauvinistic pleasure in such endlessly twisted roads. There is Jonadda John, Aussi become Thai; his intimacy with the whole area makes him the natural lead buffalo with the others following blindly and herd-like. And there is Pico, my father. All of this is his doing. He has been living on Phuket for three years and had the obscure plan to infuse some after-puberty respect for himself into his adult daughter. He wanted me to experience the joy, beauty but also the fear of motorbike riding in Thailand.

Now, having witnessed my screaming he sits across the table of a small food stall where we stopped for a break giving me his one of his devious smiles. Don’t I know these smiles! Sao, his partner, is happy to have me around. After all she is the passenger of his stylish sidecar with a enviable 200 liter trunk attached to a Honda SilverWing 600cc scooter. I used to wonder if the Silver...wing purchase at the time had anything to do with with my fathers silver hair, which is no more.

In any event , Sao as the sidecar rider knows each and every pothole of each and every Thai road they ever took by heart. The shared misery of bumpy rides lets Sao and me form a holy alliance against speed. Sao´s shouting had been as ineffective as my screams. Our strategy of smiles proved utterly useless as well simply because there is no smile that penetrates the visor of a proper motorbike helmet.

I myself look like a Muslim woman because of a big scarf looped around my forehead to keep an over sized helmet in place. The others look all the more cool. Keith, a man of the Isle of Man, resembles with his prominent, massive bald head and his cigar Kojack during the best of his times. Mike from Australia and a Vietnam Veteran is the living re-incarnation of Steve Cegal and as such the only prominent figure among us nobodies . He forces all Thai Girls into giggling submission. Franz from Germany in his leather jacket is the best dressed man of all. Young sexy Danielle from Australia riding a hot motor bike is easily the most erotic attraction. And because I am pillion of Jonadda John on his awesome machine I am biased anyhow, his looks don´t really matter much.

Nature holds real beauty. North Thailand is very, very green with many Orchids in between and many, many mountains and temples, where I pray for a happy ending of our hell ride. It is February and it is pleasantly cool and dry up here.

We ride on to the infamous Golden Triangle where Lao, Burma and Thailand meet. Our hotel is directly on the mighty Mekong River.

Mike gets yet another chance to play on his Steve Segal resemblance. When the receptionist gazes at him in bewilderment he leans over and like a Hollywood star whose cover is about to be blown and whispers : yes ,I am Steve Segal. Immediately Steve alias Mike is surrounded by excitingly giggling girls demanding souvenir photos which are seemingly granted with reluctance and T-shirts are signed. After all we are in the country of counterfeits. I believe that my father is rather jealous, He is in the age bracket of pensioners too but does´nt have the looks of Steve Segal, no counterfeit will help him.

After a long night we are heading to Mai Salong the most demanding stretch by far of our journey. As usual John and I are the fastest waiting on top of the mountain for the others .

It is certainly not easy for Jonandda John to keep straying dogs together. Mike will stop for any beauty shot, be it a woman, a flower, a dog, mountains or rocks. Mike, graciously will acknowledge Jonadda John´s calm reminders that the group should not drive into the night only to forget such petite matter as soon as the next temptation of trigger happiness comes up.

One week we spend together cruising, I guess some of the most beautiful roads in South East Asia. What a great gang from Australia, Isle of Man, Thailand and Germany found each other thanks to www.GT-RIDER.COM

I´ll be missing hitting away at Joanadda John´s manly shoulders and other things as well for a long time. That I am capable of committing my thoughts to paper now three months later is a sign that time is slowly healing this wound too.

Steffi
 

DavidFL

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Nice little report Steffi, you had me worried for a minute I thought it was your dad who "Never in my life I felt more a Woman."
Glad you had a good time. I hope to meet you next time.
Many thanks for putting "pen to paper" for us.
 
Apr 22, 2003
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I too thought Pico was feeling like a woman at first read, and that was scary, glad you enjoyed your self and i didnt really mean to scare you, I have been around that trip a few times since you were here and just this week i have been over to Nan and back twice, once with an extremely large english woman on the back of the Suzuki and once with my CBR 150 with some of the lads from GT-Rider, all was good but i would have preferred to have you on the back, screams and all. Nice post Steff and i hope to see you back over here and keen to go on the road again because we need someone to test all the best locations to get horizontal as you have a good eye for locating places to lay down.
John
 

DavidFL

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jonadda wrote: ....I have been around that trip a few times since you were here and just this week i have been over to Nan and back twice, once with an extremely large english woman on the back of the Suzuki and once with my CBR 150 with some of the lads from GT-Rider....
John
John
Love to see some photos & trip reports if we can.