Aim: Get out of Bangkok Breathe some mountain air Perfect our Dougie Lampkin impression Jump a couple of villages Learn how to do backflips It was always going to be a bit of a rush. We left Bangkok after work on friday. I'll leave this out of the report as it's of no interest to anyone!!! Suffice to say after an 8 hour drive a couple of beers was in order. The early start was a little later than expected, with more of a hangover than expected and not the breakfast we expected, True Blue where are you? Supplies were then obtained; 2 packs of cigs and a bottle of fanta. Straight to Joe's Bikes on advice from GT. Good guy, decent bikes and most importantly the MHS map. We had read many reports on this site but the problem was we didn't have a clue where these places were. with a finger point in the right direction to get onto dirt as quickly as possible we took 2 XR250s and an AX250 (i think) towards Samoeng. A road under construction on the way there proved too tempting and we had to hit the dirt for a bit. I should explain we are life long sports bike riders (R1, RVF400, CBR600 in Bangkok) which i must admit helped us in no way at all. The little bit of dirt was great to judge testicular fortitude, limited off road experience and watching kickstart as a kid seemed to be enough to get me used to the ever moving surface. Well, almost. dropping the bike in some sand dented my pride something rotten, thought the bike was ok, realised later the handlebars were now pointing backwards towards me, hmm not good. Back on the road to Samoeng, I hear the scenery is nice on the way, I'll check next time!! The track we decided to take to Mae Win looked perfect for our first proper trail through the mountains. We had made the decision the previous night to make sure we all kept in in our pants on the ride, no riding beyond our capabilites, no racing, no putting eachother in danger. The first couple of kilometers seemed to be a big slide competition, every corner, no matter how slight, was a reason to get the back wheel out. the next couple of K's was spent trying to work out how to ride with 3 bikes, too close and you have no room for error, too far apart and only the lead rider can see. we never did work it out!! I would like to include loads of pictures with this report but i have only 2. every time we stopped, we were in too much of a hurry to get back on the bikes!! Stubsy (right aka The Fastest Man In Bangkok) holding the gut in, Cheggs not!! I'm the one staying covered up!! My XR less a mirror. Cheggs' AX which managed to find the only bike wide gap between trees for 100k on a misjudged corner (we still think the trees jumped out of his way!!) As the trail became thinner and steeper and more rutted we had not a care in the world, onwards and upwards, of course we were going in the right direction. Then came my first face plant. I had expressed my worries about riding over rain ruts, maybe i should have listened to myself. no damage to bike or rider (pride aside that is) after a steep asent and the end of a the trail we finally realised we had followed the wrong track. quick spin around, back down the same track ontly to faceplant again in the same rut. this time i went down hard. At this time i must apologise to all CM residents, i think it was me who caused the earthquake, 100+ kilos hitting the ground with a stylish belly flop manouver, my pride was taking a serious bashing. Timmy 3 times was my new name. don't worry you've had your 3 now, you'll be ok from now on was the general idea. we retraced our tyre tracks so far we ended up almost back in Samoeng!! The decision was made to eat, remove the dust balls from our noses and cool off 2 minutes after the grub arrived we were already pulling our gloves back on. supply check, 1 pack of cigs and half a bottle of warm fanta, that'll do. This time we decided to take the time to speak to the locals, after getting used to obnoxious BKK folks i had not expected them to be so friendly as we were filling their small communities with dust clouds. What a great track that is, a little of everything, perfect for beginners. we had a lot of help from people, some good, some not so good. 'keep going straight' was really the only thing we heard, not too helpful at forks in the road! just near the highest point there is a heavily rutted section where as you can probably already guess i had my fourth facplant of the day. Yes, it really was 4 times in one day. It was at this time i thought that maybe my drop down bars w ere putting too much weight on the front wheel. Nerves had also set in whenever i saw a rut and tiredness was taking it's toll. I have to say, I think i've found a new hobby, this was the most fun i've had for a long while. maybe next time it would be good to stop and look around from time to time, maybe take a photo or 2. Joe's bikes were great, even though i found the yoke bolts were barely tightened, which surely added to my faceplant count. repair costs came to 90 baht for a new mirror. The drive back on Sunday was bad, sore body and the desire to get back on the bike. All that's left now is to plan for the next one, get some more advice from experienced riders, try not to slide the back wheel of my R1 evrytime i get on it and get myself a new arse as i think i broke this one!!! Hopefully we have another pic or two to add at a later date. My fellow northern monkeys may even pen an odd word or two to add to this post.