How it happens in Australia

Ian Mc

Jun 4, 2003
Just a little joke to fill in a few minutes of your time.....

An Aussie is flat out across the plains on his Kawasaki ZZR1100 road
bike, really enjoying himself. So much so that he fails to see a cop
car with radar behind a rock. The car pulls out and gives chase with
all its lights flashing and the biker decides to pull over.
The cop approaches him with clipboard in hand and asks routinely:
"Good day. Is this your bike, sir?"
"Nope" replies the biker, taking off his helmet. "I stole it back
there in Perth."
"You're admitting this is a stolen bike?" says the cop, incredulous.
"Sure I am" says the man, "because sure as hell all that white powder
in the panniers is nothing to do with me!"
"Drugs?" squeals the cop, having exchanged the clipboard for his
pistol. "Are you saying you are in possession of drugs?"
"Look, you're obviously a bit slow" says the biker patiently. "The
guns in the top box are MINE, the drugs in the panniers are nothing
to do with me!"
"Firearms?" screams the cop, scrambling for his radio. "You're
admitting you are carrying GUNS?????"
"Take a look if you don't believe me" says the biker, laconically
lighting up a cig.
But the cop backs off 15 meters, gun drawn, and yells into his radio
for emergency back up.
Ten minutes later an enormous helicopter chop-chops over the horizon,
lands on the highway 50 meters away and 8 policemen in kevlar body
armour race out with sub machine guns drawn. A tough looking white
haired man in a Very senior uniform gets out and walks calmly up to
the biker, who is still equally calmly smoking his cig and admiring
the chopper.
"This your bike son?" asks the very senior officer.
"Yes sir!" replies the biker and produces the ownership papers from
the top pocket of his leathers.
"Strange. This officer behind me says you stole it and you have drugs
in the panniers."
"Well" said the biker, "he HAS been acting a bit strange. Take a
look, they are empty." And empty, indeed, they were.
"He says you have guns in that top box" says the main man, warming
just a little.
"No sir. Just a few fresh ham sandwiches my wife packed this morning.
Here, would you like one?"
The older man scratches his head and looks around at the now
dumbfounded patrolman, radio, gun and clipboard hanging limply from
his hands.
"Well, there's a lot here that doesn't add up" he admits, slowly
scratching his head.
"Yessir" agreed the biker. "Next thing, the bastard will tell you I
was speeding!"

Thankfully one or two hundred baht will take care of the situation in Thailand


Jul 15, 2005
God Love it Ian.. wonder if it just might work in T/land or any other similar situation??? Good one.

Love It FM


Jan 20, 2003
No, in Thailand they have permission to just shoot you on sight for saying you have drugs.

2 years ago, the police killed over 2500 "drug dealers" during the 9 month "drug war"


"The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not and never persist in trying to set people right."
Apr 22, 2003
Sure it was a ZZR1100 Ian? The ZZR wouldnt go quick enough to bump the needle of the radar gun, this story must be bull shit.
Another true story from Autralia.
Now that speed cameras that were formerly mounted in police cars has been privatised, Joe citizen can open thier own small business by purchasing or leasing the cameras and placing them in thier own cars and bust people for speeding recieving a percentage of the fine.
3 Aussie lads got thier revenge on one of these camera contractors by 2 of them approaching him and asking about his camera etc and while they had his attention the 3rd one removed the rear number plate off his car, screwed to the back of thier own car and made 18 passes through the guys own camera.
Only in Oz

Ian Mc

Jun 4, 2003
Barely enough to register on the radar gun J. But that was whilst passing an aging Aussie struggling on an old GSX-R 1100 with a little old Wiseco 1250 kit. And that was with the square tyres and all!! [:)]


Staff member
Jan 16, 2003
Chiang Khong
Not quite m/c related, but thought I might sneek this one in under the radar gun

Three Aussies were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Bluey.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Bluey says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Bluey?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me," Bluey replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

"Well not exactly," Bluey says. "When she answered the door, I said to her,'You must be Steve's widow'.

She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'

And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'."

Keep The Power On

Ian Mc

Jun 4, 2003
You've been away from Australia too long David......No-one in Oz drinks that Foster's crap, it's only for ignorant foreigners who don't really appreciate a good beer. However a good joke all the same.